The Real Us
by DarkSorcerer888
Summary: Behold the memoir and last will of Daniel Jack Fenton, half-ghost Defense Attorney. Read as I systematically destroy the childhoods of Danny Phantom fans across the globe! DannyxJasminexEmber Note: not incest, all will be explained.
1. Prologue

Prologue: The Memoir & Last Will of Daniel Fenton

Dear Reader:

If you are reading this, then I have "gone ghost" for the last time. Sorry, just a bit of dead humor. Whether I stuck around as a full-ghost or went on to the afterlife is something that I can offer no forethought towards. I'd like to think that I would have found enough peace in death to move on, but I doubt that very much. I'm the type of guy who always has regrets, one who always second and third-guesses himself, the kind of person that generally remains a ghost for a millennium or more.

First, I'd like to dedicate this memoir to the two women that made me the man/ghost that I was when I was alive. One you will no doubt recognize as my fire-cracker of a "sister", Jasmine Naomi Fenton Nee Travis. The other you will no doubt recognize as one of the many ghosts my cartoon character was depicted as having faced, Ember Fenton Nee McClain.

For starters, I'd like to clarify a few things for you. One: despite the insistence of the writers of the cartoon based on my life as a half-ghost hero, I do _not_ go around picking fights with every ghost I come across. That would be both incredibly stupid, and quite rude to boot. Ghosts exist because spirits of the dead have unfinished business with the living. Many times, people like me, who can see ghosts even if they are not _trying_ to be seen, are needed to help these ghosts find peace and move on to the afterlife. Two: I was not going around as a half-ghost in my teens. I was already well into my twenties, and a successful lawyer working for my father's rival Vlad, when the accident that caused my first transformation occurred. And no, it had nothing to do with a supposed portal into the fictitious ghost world. Instead, it was a near-death experience that was so terrifying that it was cut by the writers of Danny Phantom. Three, Jasmine Fenton Nee Travis is not my sister. She was my best friend, and practically my sister, since I was in Kindergarten, and had remained as such until I finally clued into the fact that we had feelings for each other. Four, Ember Fenton Nee McClain was a pop star, but she didn't use her ghostly powers to enhance her music's effect. And her hit song, Remember, was not a hypnosis spell to build an army out of her fans, she could do that with her sheer talent. To prove it, I will show you the lyrics to Remember:

Yeah! Ohh-ooohhh!

It was, it was September,

Wind blows, the dead leaves fall,

To you, I did surrender,

Two weeks, you didn't call…

Your life goes on without me,

My life, a losing game,

But you should, you should not doubt me,

You will remember my name…

Oh, Ember, you will remember!

Ember, one thing remains!

Oh, Ember, so warm and tender!

You will remember my name!

Your heart, your heart abandoned,

You're wrong, now bear the shame,

Like dead trees in cold December,

Nothing, but ashes remain…

Oh, Ember, you will remember!

Ember, one thing remains!

Ember, so warm and tender!

You will remember my name!

Oh-woo-oh-woo, Ember!

You will remember!

Ember, one thing remains!

Ember, so warm and tender!

You will remember my name!

Yeah! You will remember my name!

You see: rather than a song meant to hypnotize her fan-base, this song was a pouring out of heartbreak and spite towards an ex-lover. This heartbreak and spite was what pushed Ember into my arms, and for that I am eternally grateful. I can tell you one thing: as long as the ghosts of Ember and/or Jasmine remain in this world, I am not moving on.

Another thing, I would sooner die than have anything constricting my hearing when my dearest Ember is singing. I need to hear her voice as much as I needed air to breathe before this ghostly shit happened.

Finally, if I have "gone ghost" for the final time, it is because I've chosen to do so. I am, for all intents and purposes immortal. The only way for me to gain full-ghost status is by staying in my ghost form for a Century, 3 decades, 5 years, 40 days, 13 hours, 25 minutes, and 19 seconds. Even if you are reading this, it is not decided whether I will actually go thru with the wait or not.

As for my will: it is decided that my entire fortune will go into Fentonworks Ghost Whisperers United.

Farewell cruel human existence,

Daniel Jack Fenton

Defense Attorney


	2. When We First Met: Johnny Gets It

Chapter One: When We First Met: Johnny Gets What's Coming To Him

Danny Fenton was walking back to Fentonworks from his boss' manor when he heard the voice of an angel. He was barely aware as he made his way towards the sound, completely mesmerized by the melody. He thus did not notice the truck that almost ran him over as he walked across the street towards the sound. It was then that he caught a glimpse of an angel, her blue hair scattered in the breeze as she held the truck at bay with her hand. It was not enough, however, and his angel was pushed on top of him as the truck ran them both over.

Danny expected pain but felt nothing as his blue-haired angel held him. He could feel the pressure of her body being smashed against his. Then, he felt a strange sensation as she half-phased into him.

Danny's cells began to mutate on a molecular level as his hair turned white and he phased for the first time.

"Are you an angel?" he asked the blue-haired girl as the lack of the truck overhead registered. Her laugh was the sound of heavenly bells to his ears.

"Guess again," she said.

"Are you my angel?" he asked, still convinced that the blue-haired girl had to be an angel.

"I don't know," the girl said, "am I?"

"Most definitely," said Danny. "What might my heavenly angel be called?"

"My name is Ember," said his angel.

"Danny," he replied.

"Good, we are introduced," said Ember. "Now I can do this." Without warning, she kissed him on the lips. He melted into her embrace. "Think of a place where we can be alone, I'll take us there." Danny thought of his room at Fentonworks and without warning, they were there.

Danny took the moment to take in Ember's form. "My angel, you won't be so pure when I'm done with you," he growled.

"Ditto," purred Ember.

"To the bed," he ordered, "now!"

888

And that is how Ember and I first met, and how I got my ghostly super powers. Jasmine and I still had this kind of best friend/kinda sibling relationship going on at the time.

As you can extrapolate, Ember and I hit it off from the get go. I mean, she looked and sounded like an angel and she saved my life and gave me super powers to boot. What wasn't to love?

888

Danny first realized his feelings for Jasmine when she brought Johnny home as her boyfriend. He quickly confided his feelings to Ember. At first he was jealous, but it quickly turned to rage when Ember revealed that the ghost was using control magic on his best friend. "Time to exorcise this bastard!" he growled.

"Calm down," said Ember. "You don't want to get Jasmine defensive of him. The best course of action is that I counter the control magic on the presents that he gives her, preferably before he gives them to her, and let their disaster of a relationship progress without the help of magic."

Ember's instincts proved to be spot on. As soon as the magic was removed from the equation, Jasmine couldn't stand the guy. In fact, Jasmine was the one to come to Ember and Danny and beg them to exorcise the bastard.

"You'll have to pretend to like the creep until them. Just don't accept anything from him until we've had the chance to nullify the magic," said Ember. Jasmine nodded.

Jasmine expertly led Johnny into the cleverly-concealed trap. An exorcism circle that was hidden by the leaves.

Jasmine asked Johnny if he'd like to hear her "brother's" girlfriend sing (Danny was Jasmine's brother as far as Johnny knew). Johnny accepted.

"It was, it was September,

Wind blows, the dead leaves fall,

To you, I did surrender,

Two weeks, you didn't call..." As Ember sang, Daniel chanted, his chant hidden by his girlfriend's lovely singing. Johnny, captivated as he was by Ember's singing, didn't notice the rush of magic as the exorcism began.

"Your life goes on without me

My life, a losing game,

But you should, you should not doubt me,

You will remember my name..." Ember, in the second voice that all ghosts had, chanted as she sung. Jasmine too began chanting.

"Oh, Ember, you will remember!

Ember, one thing remains!

Oh, Ember, so warm and tender!

You will remember my name!" Daniel, aware of Ember's true reason for choosing this particular song to sing to Johnny, smirked as he continued chanting.

"Your heart, your heart abandoned,

You're wrong, now bear the shame,

Like dead trees in cold December,

Nothing but ashes remain..." Jasmine too smirked as she listened to the dressing down that Ember's ex wasn't aware that he was receiving. _That'll teach him to cheat on her with some redheaded floozy._

"Oh, Ember, you will remember!

Ember, one thing remains!

Ember, so warm and tender!

You will remember my name!

As I banish your soul!" At that, Johnny finally seemed to clue in, but it was too late.

"Oh Johnny, you will remember Ember as your soul dies!

Johnny, just remember: no one will care if you cry!" As she finished the last line, Johnny was, as it turned out, in tears. Ember was seemingly indifferent as he begged and pleaded for his life. As his form began to disintegrate, she picked up another refrain: "Oh Johnny, don't come crying!

When the hole you dug you fall into!

This time you will remember!

You will remember my name!"

As Johnny ceased to exist, Daniel took Jasmine into his arms and proceeded to snog her brains out, before handing her to Ember who did the same.

"Wow," said Jasmine as Ember broke the kiss.

"You got that right," said Danny. "My Ember is the best kisser ever."

"You're not too bad yourself, love," said Ember, "now give Jazzy some more sugar."

888

And that is how Ember and I got with Jasmine, and how Ember finally got even with the jerk who cheated on her and then dumped her when she complained. He really was a douche-nozzle. I'd like to nominate him for the Douche Hall of Fame. Check that out at douchehalloffame dot info.

To recap, Johnny got what he deserved and Ember and I finally got with Jasmine. It was really satisfying.

Fenton signing out.


End file.
